During my first period Spanish class in Senior Year, we had a substitute who was all around very much disliked because she would both complain that you were not doing your work as well as distract you from your work. Well, I had a copy of Jane Birken’s Munkey Diaries laid upon my desk. The woman walked over and told me, “Ooh, good choice!” I guess I should have known she’d know of Birkin, she was the type of gal who presented herself as a woman of taste and refinement, she absolutely hated technology, and would never let people use their phones in class unless, of course, it was to play the daily Wordle- odd character.
So the girls at my table all leaned over and asked who Jane Birkin is, naturally, and after explaining the most relevant pop culture fact, that she is the partial inventor of the Birkin bag, she tried to name a comparative figure of the modern day, but she was old so I guess her memory was failing her, so, therefore, we had to try our best to jog her memory. We called out famous celebs like Emma Ratajakowski and Hailey Bieber. After we were still not able to guess properly, the substitute then explained to us that, “She’s, you know, one of those people who people only follow for her character and looks. She’s interesting, but she doesn’t actually have much depth to her. But good guesses!” The line has stuck with me ever since, it’s really confounded me that she thought none of the laundry list of guesses we had made + Jane Birkin had any substance to them at all besides having this sort of “it” factor.
I hate this sentiment, I absolutely loathe it. Women cannot survive on being pretty alone. They have to have “depth” and be cultured. A woman must be very beautiful of course, but she also must prove she has intellect. She must read books, but not just any book. Like, you can’t just read Love and Gelato; if you want to step outside as a public facing female figure, you have to show you have culture- you have to find yourself a book like The Stranger or Notes From the Underground. But even then, maybe not that, lest you want to be accused of using your book as an accessory by The New York Post. And music! And movies! “Name five songs.” “What do you mean you haven’t watched Whiplash?” Shut up, Ben! There’s something called a variety of tastes! What’s more, even when a woman has fulfilled this increasingly absurd checklist of having the utmost taste in all things ever produced from the years 2000 BC to now, she can always just be read the line, “Has he picked you yet?”
No one, not one person, has ever cared what Tom Cruise was wearing, reading, or watching. They just let him do his job! So why is it that Jane Birkin, Emma Ratajakowski, and Hailey Bieber are the ones who have no substance?
Jane Birkin was a muse. She was a singer. She was a movie star. A model too. She became a French icon despite entering the country not even knowing French. She helped invent the Birkin bag. She can be found on my Pinterest board.
Emma Ratajakowski is a model. She is a mother. She is a podcast host for HighLow. She has written My Body, a collection of twelve essays that detail her view on body politics as she self-reflects on the ways her own body has been used within the modeling industry. It quickly became a New York Times bestseller and a bookstagram favorite. She can also be found in the Blurred Lines music video.
Hailey Bieber is the founder of Rhode Skin. Her company has been praised for its innovative peptide lip tints which can be found in any TikTok girlies bag. She’s a former model and enjoyed a career as a ballerina for twelve straight years before, unfortunately, resigning early due to a career-ending foot injury.
And even then, these women, they are so much beyond their looks. Any woman, I think, is so much beyond their looks. They don’t have to read these classic novels. watch these old, impressionist films, and repost pictures of Van Gogh’s Sunflowers on their Instagram stories for you to think that they are worth your while. And even if they were literally nothing but a pretty face, which I think would be impossible given the structuring of the human brain, what is there to criticize? Being pretty, being a human, and being a woman is a merit within itself.